Saturday night in. I have that urgency to go out and party but knowing that I have a whole stack of assessments to complete is killing me internally, and will keep me bothered when i'm out having fun.
Typing this blog post tonight is just a stress relief from the crazy stuff I've got going on in my life at the moment. I have a feeling this post will be full of rants and d'n'ms because I'm feeling quiet low on motivation right now.
How am I feeling so far?
Tired. Stressed. Unmotivated. I feel like this September is going to be a rough one for me. I am about 3-4 weeks behind in uni (terrible!) and I'm very behind at work. I have no motivation to just lift myself up and tackle the load. August was a good month for me. I achieved my targets at work (woohoo! first commission baby!) and I was on a good schedule in doing uni work and so on. But this month? man I don't know where all that spark I had in August went? I was super motivated to tackle my work and uni and now? I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. I feel stuck that I need that extra push to get myself where I should be. I miss being motivated because the feeling of accomplishing a goal is sensational. It feels like I'm on top of the world. But where is this motivation? where are youu my friendd!!! These next few weeks are critical in uni and work and I need you back!!
Updates?
Apart from feeling sluggish, and being stuck in a rut (literally). I guess one thing that's good this month is that I've been feeling the spark towards getting fitter. I've always struggled in getting fitter, losing weight blah blah blah, because generally I have always stuck with it for a week then give up. (too much cheat days yakno whatam sayin?) I think the external motivation I'm receiving has really helped me to start getting fitter. I have seen many of my closest friends joining me into this fitness change which is a weird sight, as I would have thought those particular friends would never get into this fitness lifestyle. Changes. Its scary but hey for the better?.
Having a fitness buddy has given me a huge kick in my fitness. This week I visited 1000 steps with one of my closets friends I grew up with. She has always been the lazy ass skinny girl, but this time she convinced me to go with her to the steps for a workout. She's never been to this place, so she thought her fitness levels would be on par with mine. LOL nope, she smashed those steps.. and well me? I struggled big time. But it's okay. She kicked my butt in continuing to get up those steps till the top. I like it. I like having a fitness buddy because that feeling of letting them down due to being 'inadequate' makes me feel like I have let them down.
I guess another external motivation for getting into shape, is that I've been seeing someone. hehehe. I have to get into shape anyways. His a gorgeous boy, how can I ever let him down? His a freaking bodybuilder/PT and it's extremely strange how his into me. like Wtf? PT/Bodybuilder/fitness freak falling for a fat chick? errr since when? hello? open your eyes man! You're surrounded by bootlicious, figure hugging girls at the gym all day long. And your going for me? O...kayy
We've been training a lot these last few weeks. (I lie, I actually just watch him smash his reps whilst I envy his muscular arms... hnnnnggggg #aesthetics). I've got a fitness goal of losin' 10kgs by december. Possible or nah??? I need to be more strict with my diet, since lets face it "Abs are made in the kitchen" blah blah blah.. whatever.
Excitement
Feeling excited to reach my fitness goals. 10kgs down by December, can I do itttt? Can iiiiiii? #babysteps I need to stay motivated over the next 12 weeks or so, I don't think I will ever achieve anything this big in terms of physically changing myself?. I need to be 110% in this fitness goal, and all my other goals in life. Always get knocked down but hey, always bring yourself back up! dun dun dun
Btw, sorry I've been really lazy with this thing. I generally can't be arsed with typing up how I'm feeling or how I feel about this product whatsoever. There are so many products I've been wanting to review for this blog but I always get lazy, keep pushing it back and end up using the whole product before I can even take photos of it for the blog. Very unmotivated. Lazy. Dull. Errghh.
Just a short rant, expressing emotions, or whatever you'd like to call it.
I just needed to clear my head, release the stress and feel better about myself and the shit I have to do.
Until next time my friends, Thanks for reading xx
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